{"id":2398,"date":"2024-05-25T07:00:37","date_gmt":"2024-05-25T06:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thepowercloset.com\/?p=2398"},"modified":"2024-06-06T15:12:57","modified_gmt":"2024-06-06T14:12:57","slug":"the-jealous-mind-games","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thepowercloset.com\/?p=2398","title":{"rendered":"The Jealous Mind Game"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a021st November 2022, 06:26, London<\/strong><\/p>\n

I love starting my mornings with a workout. It helps me think through my plan of action for the day and get me in the right headspace. However, during my morning walk to the gym, my subconscious was plagued with thoughts regarding jealousy and its place in relationships. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDoes the use of jealousy make a relationship more exciting?\u201d \u201cBy flaunting that you have various suitors does that make you more attractive to the one you want?\u201d \u201cIf a lady had multiple suitors would it hasten a man\u2019s desire to settle down with her and define the relationship?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

These thoughts clouded my mind and I couldn\u2019t seem to move past any of these questions. As I tried to understand where all these questions were arising from I realised that I must have watched or heard something the day before that sowed a [negative] seed in my mind. <\/span><\/p>\n

Amid the chaos I heard a soft voice from deep in my spirit: <\/span>\u201cReal love is not founded on jealousy.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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I stopped, cocked my head to the side and took that in. You\u2019re right, Lord. Real love certainly isn\u2019t founded on jealousy. Yet I couldn\u2019t help but notice how a lot of the advice I had gleaned while growing up insinuated that a sprinkle of jealousy should make a man look more intently at a lady. Now perhaps that is true for some but what if he\u2019s <\/span>an outlier<\/em><\/span> and jealousy + any associated mind games don\u2019t move him?<\/span><\/p>\n

I specifically said <\/span>outlier<\/em><\/span> because I believe that not all men [and as an extension people] are the same. Some, however few, don\u2019t believe in using jealousy to spice up a relationship. I remember having a conversation with a good friend of mine where I shared this school of thought with him. <\/span><\/p>\n

He rolled his eyes at this conundrum and said \u201cif she feels that she has to put on a show or keep stressing to me that there are other guys in the picture I\u2019d be perfectly happy to let her go.\u201d He then said \u201cwhat is mine is mine\u201d and he\u2019s not phased by the acting. I burst out laughing! <\/span><\/p>\n

So to address the flurry of thoughts that surfaced earlier in the day I decided that I will not tolerate such a way of thinking in my relational life. <\/span>I don\u2019t believe you need to try and make someone jealous for them to value you more<\/strong><\/span>. I don\u2019t believe you need to flaunt other suitors to seem more attractive. Quite frankly, it\u2019s important to not be caught in the middle of foolish mind games that have no end. The bible says \u201c<\/span>he<\/strong><\/span> who finds a wife […]\u201d. If he seeks you out and he\u2019s the one, <\/span>he will recognise your value without jealousy or mind games<\/strong><\/span>. If intimacy and deep affection are what you truly desire, the way to get it isn\u2019t by acting. It\u2019s by communicating openly and having a mature conversation. <\/span><\/p>\n

I worry that someone will see this and cite the fact that the Bible says \u201cGod is a jealous God.\u201d Oh yes, He certainly is and we should be grateful that He is, lest we be found abiding with deities that will rather have us for dinner! <\/span><\/p>\n

God\u2019s love isn\u2019t <\/span>founded on<\/strong><\/span> jealousy. He didn\u2019t love us or want us to commit to Him because He was jealous of the devil having us. Think about it: is <\/span>that<\/em><\/span> love? That sounds like a very insecure and immature person which is certainly not my Father. <\/span><\/p>\n

So let me reiterate the sweet words of the Holy Spirit: real love is not founded on jealousy. Of course, you can be playful. Of course, you can be troublesome. But please don\u2019t engage in foolish mind games that encourage jealousy to try and control the relationship or influence the person\u2019s actions. Doing that isn\u2019t how we build real love. Such actions corrode trust, create fear in the heart, and most importantly, rob you and the person from enjoying the real you.<\/span><\/p>\n

Here is a scripture that sums up my thoughts:
\n<\/span>\u201cAnd now I say to you, keep away from these men and let them alone; <\/span>for if this plan or this work is of men, it will come to nothing; but if it is of God, you cannot overthrow it<\/strong><\/span>\u2014lest you even be found to fight against God.\u201d \u202d\u202dActs\u202c \u202d5\u202c:\u202d38\u202c-\u202d39\u202c \u202dNKJV\u202c\u202c<\/span><\/p>\n

Simply put, if it is God\u2019s plan it will happen. There\u2019s no need to use jealousy to try and control the relationship. That\u2019s not healthy or necessary. <\/span><\/p>\n

I know this was very much written for ladies thinking about men (because I\u2019m a lady and it’s easier to speak from my viewpoint) but this piece holds true for men too. She will see your value without any crazy mind games!<\/span><\/p>\n

Love always,
\nTumi<\/span><\/p>\n

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