He’s not the problem
11:27, January 15th 2023, London
One afternoon, I was sitting down speaking to a friend about the gift of salvation and going deeper in God. I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to distance themselves from someone so beautiful. If not distance, why will you only want to know Him from afar? If you go all in for romantic relationships why should this relationship take a backseat? Then from nowhere I randomly mutter “it’s not God that’s the problem, it’s the idea of who God is that people don’t like.”
I stopped and found that statement so profound. ‘The idea of who God is’ what does that mean? I grew up in the church and there were certain practices that formed my understanding of Christianity and what having a relationship with God meant. I was expected to go to church on Sunday, pay tithes, be a good church member and stay in the community. At certain periods I would also be required to do classes that boost and nurture my faith. When I looked around a lot of people seemed to talk about Christianity in a ‘solemn’ manner. Several people who expressed Christianity to me whilst growing up tended to put solemnity above all else to the point where I sometimes didn’t see their personality.
These tiny seeds had been sewn in my mind very young and so as a young adult, the idea of going ‘all in’ with God seemed daunting. Will I have to have my hands clasped together praying 24/7? Does it mean I can’t be bubbly Tumi anymore? Does it mean I can’t be super fashionable to church because “the message is the only thing that matters” so looking amazing isn’t important? It looked like a total commitment to God seemed almost like a loss of myself.
I remember a friend and I speaking about our faith journey. She shared candidly she had a fear that coming close to God would relegate her to a wardrobe filled with lots of maxi skirts and whatnot. I literally burst out laughing! If you don’t understand the joke it’s less about the length of the skirt but more about the fear of a radical change in her wardrobe. The truth is coming to God certainly changes one’s life, however, He doesn’t take away the beauty of your personality. He amplifies it for the better. He will certainly alter your wardrobe if it’s currently inappropriate but I don’t believe He insists we all wear maxi-skirts and gowns.
Before rededicating my life to my sweet Jesus, I was happy but hadn’t tasted true joy. I was fashionable, I still am but now I have a secret fashionista who is able to give me tips on when to score Manolo Blahniks on sale. Previously if I liked a guy I would use my understanding to deduce behaviours, whereas now I have wise counsel that leads from a place of love and never leads me astray. I previously would laugh but now I laugh from the depths of my soul and feel peace like never before. My point is a relationship with Jesus doesn’t rob you of your personality. When the Bible speaks about denying yourself it speaks of denying your flesh and any desires which will lead you to a depleted state.
As human beings we always think we know best. We question God’s choices and what He’s doing for our lives. How ironic given that He’s the one that knows the end of a thing from its beginning. If He says put something away it’s because He can clearly see how the thing you are toying with is affecting your life or will later on.
I say all of this to explain that ‘your idea of who God is’ can really affect your relationship with Him. If one sees Him as a person who will change their personality and make them more dull, it will influence their intimacy with Him. If you see Him as one who is just out to take from you, it will be impossible to surrender.
Take it from me, whatever He does it is to make you more beautiful. When one walks with God He doesn’t leave you in a worse state than you were before encountering Him. God is not a devourer, the devil is. God adds, amplifies and increases those that encounter Him.
So if you’re reading this today and you were once afraid of taking the step of drawing nearer, try. He loves you and He’s dying to show you a love you’ve never encountered.
He’s going to show you you. He’ll introduce you to the real you.
Love always,
Tumi
