26th June 2022, London, 08:24
Experiencing a promise from God can evoke both excitement and fear simultaneously. As a woman who craves details, I have been taught by Abba to be still and trust Him, even when I’m unsure about the specifics of how everything will come together. My role is simply to have faith in Him and hold onto the promise He has given me. However, what happens when doubts arise and you question whether you heard correctly? It can feel like God is leading you in one direction one moment, and then asking you to wait the next, causing a constant back-and-forth motion like a pendulum. I refer to this phase as the “pendulum phase.”
In physics, we learn about pendulums, which are weights attached to strings that swing freely. They oscillate from one extreme to another, such as from left to right. When in the middle, the pendulum is at rest and not in motion. During the pendulum phase, one’s mind can become extremely chaotic, burdened, and even doubtful. Thoughts like, “Did I truly hear from God?” or “Maybe I imagined it all!” can arise. One moment, you deeply believe, and the next, uncertainty overwhelms you. Take a deep breath, because I’ve been there, and so has Abraham. If God reveals something significant to you, there’s a high chance you will encounter this phase.
The pendulum phase is a time when your mind constantly swings between two extremes: holding on to an old promise God gave you that is yet to come to pass or letting go and pursuing a different path because you think He is instructing you to do so. It’s a time when your mind oscillates between faith in a promise and doubt in the same promise. It’s a phase where it becomes challenging to distinguish between God’s voice, your own anxious thoughts, and the voice of the devil (who employs deception).
Allow me to share a personal example:
One summer, I invited a friend of mine over for a sleepover. It had been a while since we hung out and hence, we spent the day having heartfelt conversations and catching up. Alongside all the chatting and banter on everything: men, love, work, making money and everything in between, we decided to play some old tunes. If you know anything about me you know I’m a die-hard 2000s fan so it was no surprise that once Chris Brown’s hit “Say Goodbye” came on I instantly broke into my American Idol moment singing my heart away.
After my performance, I smiled and felt very pleased with myself. However the smile was short lived because I noticed my friend’s face had fallen. “Tobi (that’s obviously not her name lol), what’s wrong?” I asked. She shook her head and said “nothing” but I knew something was off. About 10 minutes ago she was in high spirits and now she was in a mood. I decided not to press and let it go. Her body language was clear that whatever had caused the change in her mood wasn’t something she wanted to discuss.
As we got ready for bed, I pressed once more and she said she was afraid God was telling her to let go of a promise He had given her. She was frustrated by how one moment he was leading her to believe something, then another moment it felt like he was saying something completely different.
I realised her mind was moving around like a pendulum. It’s something I was familiar with and I comforted her, reminding her to wait and trust that God is not an author of confusion. As she turned away from me and got ready for bed, she decided to open her daily devotional on her Bible app, and guess what? The plan of the day was spotlighting Corinthians. You won’t believe the scripture that came up:
“For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.”
1 Corinthians 14:33 NKJV
And immediately, her deliverance came. God was indeed still telling her to wait and trust Him to bring things to pass in His time.
When similar things of this nature has happened in my life it oftentimes occurs when I’m growing weary and impatient, unable to see how everything would align. If it is an extremely important decision, consulting Him before taking significant steps is essential. If your mind is swinging, stop and pause.
Now, let’s return to the pendulum phase. In the story I shared, God stopped the mental turmoil by giving her another Word. With that, He affirmed what He had already promised which renewed her faith. But what if that hadn’t happened?
If you find yourself deeply confused and unable to clearly discern what God is saying, I suggest two things: 1) Wait and 2) Pray. Making decisions becomes extremely challenging when your mind swings between two extremes, particularly when it concerns an important matter. Avoid making any decisions when your mind is oscillating between two extremes. Don’t make irreversible choices during the pendulum phase.
Remember:
“For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.”
1 Corinthians 14:33 NKJV
It’s impossible to discern God’s voice when we are consumed by confusion. Instead, focus on other areas of your life, engage in worship, and set the idea aside for a while. Making critical decisions during this stage is the worst thing you can do because you’re unsure about the source of the guidance you’re receiving. Until you are certain, refrain from making hasty decisions.
A prayer I recited whenever I found myself in such a state was: “God, I feel confused and don’t know what to do. All I want, Lord, is Your will. May Your will be done. It is within Your will that I will find peace, joy, and more than I can ask for or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).
Father, reveal to me Your desires and grant me the strength to follow Your path.” After praying, I set aside the idea or promise and focused on other areas of my life. I avoid making any decisions.
That’s truly the key: continually praying for His will to be done. Obsessing over it won’t make things any clearer (I apologise!).
The pendulum phase is far from fun but I’ve seen that it serves as a period of training. Through it, I learned how to wait and not be led by my own emotions. I’m sorry if you find yourself in this phase. However, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Things will get better.
All my love,
Tumi
