Diary Entry 25th November 2021, 22:54, London
“I’m in dire need of a divine smile. My eyes are heavy, my heart is heavy, and I am fatigued. Sometimes my daily experiences feel like Lord you are watching as I’m being dragged on the floor, with cuts and bruises and you say nothing. That’s what it feels like even though I know it’s not my reality.
Lord, I need a divine smile. A genuine smile. One of contentment and peace. One of hope. One of relief. One of excitement. Lord, please make me smile. I need a divine smile.”
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Today 29th April 2024, 21:34, London
It’s interesting how I wrote that almost 3 years ago. I remember that season. It felt raw and painful. It felt like everywhere I turned there was something new that didn’t seem to be going according to plan. I was itching for God to send something my way that would make me smile. I wanted to smile and mean it.
As I write I’m reminded of how Joseph endured so much and then once his breakthrough came you could sense the joy, peace, and relief through the names he gave his children.
“Joseph had two sons born to him before the years of famine came. Asenath, daughter of Potiphera the priest of On, was their mother. Joseph named the firstborn Manasseh (Forget), saying, “God made me forget all my hardships and my parental home.” He named his second son Ephraim (Double Prosperity), saying, “God has prospered me in the land of my sorrow.” Genesis 41:50-52 MSG
I can’t even imagine what Joseph endured. However, that scripture serves as a reason to have faith amid the uncertainty. But where am I going with this? Well, after a long period of waiting, last week, God finally made me smile. Of course, I’ve been smiling for 3 years! He has been with me and I have never lacked anything.
However, this smile was different. It was a divine smile (or at least that’s what I’ve termed it). The dictionary defines a smile as “a pleased, kind, or amused facial expression, typically with the corners of the mouth turned up and the front teeth exposed.”
When I say a “divine smile” here is what I mean:
Divine smile = is an extremely pleased, satisfied and joyful facial expression, provoked by God that causes the corners of a person’s mouth to be turned up with all their teeth exposed.
What resulted in this, you ask? Simply put, He gave me something I had been waiting on for a very long time. It came unexpectedly similar to Joseph. It was more than what I had hoped for and it was a blessing indeed.
As I took it in I felt a confluence of emotions: excitement, confusion, joy, disbelief, everything all at the same time. I’m sharing this story because I have experienced deep pain and confusion and I want to encourage someone by telling them that it does get better. In one season it feels like you’ve lost your smile muscles. Then all of a sudden those muscles seem to be strengthened as the Lord decides to shower you with blessings on every side.
So if you’re reading this and it seems like you’re encountering a season of drought and feel frustrated, trust me when I say it gets better. My prayer for you is that it won’t take long. May the Lord meet you at your point of need and keep you strong as you wait.
You’ve read all my stories on waiting and trusting God. Now you get to read this one where I say it plainly: The breakthrough came!
The best part is: this is just the beginning.
All my love,
Tumi
