27th September 2021, London, 00:00
One day I called my best friend and started doing what I usually do when something doesn’t go my way – analysing every detail of the situation and trying to figure out what went wrong. You see, a friend and I were going through a difficult time in our friendship and the truth was that I was incredibly hurt by the whole drama. I couldn’t believe the fears I had regarding our friendship was playing out right before my eyes. Without even realising it, I had allowed my hurt to drive me to become judgemental. It drove me to false conclusions about the person’s character and who they were. When I started entering this hole, I got overwhelmed and actually ended up in tears. Huh? Yup the water works started.
In the midst of the tears, God literally interrupted my weeping and led me to reopen my Spotify and continue my binge of Pastor Steven Furtick’s messages (from Elevation Church). The first sermon that caught my eye was titled “Get to the Good part”. Hmmm… I felt the urge to listen to this sermon. So I did what any obedient daughter will do – wiped my tears and hit play!
Within 10 minutes it became very apparent that He wanted me to listen to that sermon and take in one line in particular which says:
“I am a good man yet I have dark parts. Every good person has dark parts. If people can’t see your dark parts it’s because they haven’t got close enough to you […].”
I actually froze. I don’t understand how God does that. He literally spoke directly to the situation that was keeping me down. So repeat it – every good person has dark parts. As I pondered on this, He (the Holy Spirit) then said “though we have light we have shadows”. Which I interpreted as though a person may have good in them (Christ), there are still parts that are dark which need to be stripped away.
To say everyone has a dark part means people are not perfect. In the midst of misunderstandings it’s imperative we don’t use our own way of thinking to decipher a person’s character. What I mean is don’t label someone you’re upset with using only your perspective. It’s more important to seek God’s perspective on the matter. I have found that His perspective usually speaks to my unique situation and brings me clarity and peace.
I’ve had my fair share of over using my analytical skills within my relationships and this has led me to very very wrong conclusions. In such instances the Lord has been sweet and would instead lead me to seek His face to understand what is really going on. The Lord alone is the one who has clarity on all matters. So don’t use your understanding – ask Him! Simple questions like “Daddy why did my boyfriend say this?” “Daddy why does my girlfriend react in this manner” “Daddy is there something deeper beneath my work colleague’s actions?” “Daddy, what is your perspective on this matter?” Notice how the lens has shifted – I’m looking to understand and not judge. I’m looking to God and not myself for understanding. I’m leading with compassion and not judgement.
Everyone. Every single person has a dark part. You, your pastor, your best friend, your mum, dad, your church friend who seems like a saint – everyone. In the midst of misunderstandings it’s important we seek God’s perspective and ask Him to teach us how to lead with compassion and grace. Let us seek to understand and not pass judgement.