A while ago ;), 21:43, Somewhere on earth
Someone once asked me a cheeky question about a particular guy I was interested in. She simply asked me: why do you like him? Before answering such a loaded question I paused and thought about the best way to respond. I hadn’t seen it coming. It was a random question but clearly loaded. As I thought of my response, I debated giving a laundry list of how amazing he is and what he does and how he makes me feel and blah blah blah – you get my point. But you know how I responded? I like him because I asked God to show him to me through his lens and when he did I noticed specific character traits that made me fall absolutely in love with him. Thereafter, I listed a few of these traits that had been highlighted and why they were important.
This brings me to my real question – whose lens are you looking through when you look at a person? Is it solely your lens which is limited? Is it a judgemental lens? Or through people who are always gossiping? In friendships, when dating, in relationships, work relationships, marriages – the list is endless, but whenever we are faced with getting to know another person on a deeper level I feel like it’s incredibly valuable to ask God for perspective. Let’s look at the dating / romantic side of how we judge a person (only because it’s sweeter and more interesting lol).
Have you ever been on a date before? You know the drill – as a lady you get dressed, look cute, go out and socialise with a cute guy, look even cuter in front of him and eventually the evening comes to an end after he drops you at home. By the time you reach your house you probably have a million texts from your girlfriends who are asking if you’re home so they can call you and ask for every single detail of how the date went. Ladies don’t lie, we all do this.
When replaying the story and you’re commenting on things you like and don’t like – do you ever stop to get God’s perspective on any of the things you like or don’t like? I think it’s very important that we do so because we could easily make the mistake of throwing away someone valuable because we don’t like something about them. Whilst at first something may seem like a deal breaker, we ought to dig deeper to know if it really is or isn’t.
Let me share a personal story to give you a better picture. I remember being super excited about this cute guy I met. He was beautiful and handsome (David-style description lol i.e. 1 Samuel 16:12 NIV), intelligent, well built, and he looked like he wouldn’t mind buying me a Birkin. I went out for lunch one day and was sitting in a restaurant when I heard some ladies talking about men they were dating. They honed in on his features and by the time they finished, it was like their sharp criticism had transferred to my spirit and the guy I was once excited about didn’t look so exciting anymore. Sound familiar?
As I walked home, I felt God scold me and asked me this question – how are you looking at him? Are you solely concerned about what others think? Are you viewing him through your lens alone or are you looking through my lens to see him? Are you focused on solely his outward appearance or do you care more about the contents within? He kept pressing on my spirit and asking me to be brutally honest with myself. Sadly, I admitted that for a moment my gaze had shifted from His heavenly lens to the earthly lens and once that happened I was plagued with doubt, insecurity and discontentment. I sighed, looked up and thought “this is so stupid! I asked God for a fish he won’t give me a serpent!” So I prayed swiftly and asked God to shift my eyes and help me focus on his lens which he did.
So I’ll end with this: please use the heavenly lens when you look at people. Relying on solely the earthly lens gives us a limited view of who a person is and what they’re capable of. If you meet someone cute, always ask God for his opinion. He sees things you’d never see. He hears things you’d never hear. Always ask him to show you a person through His lens.
“Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
Luke 11:11-13 NIV